I will never forget the day I went to say goodbye to my grandfather. I had just returned home
from Grahamstown the weekend before SWOT (study) Week. Exams were honestly the last thing on my mind. After spending the night at home, we drove straight to my grandparents’ house so I could help Ma and Aunty Lydia look after Pa.
I remember the atmosphere in the house so vividly. Walking into the quaint house felt different. No sound of Pa’s joyful whistling. No smell of smoke from his cigarettes. No hearty laughter from Ma. For the first time in my life my grandparents’ house, which was always the centre of joy and love in my family, felt like a foreign place to me.
I greeted Aunty Lydia with a kiss on the cheek and placed my bag on the maroon chair.
“Ma’s with Pa upstairs, you can go greet them,” she said with an encouraging smile on her face.
I forced a smile then turned to make my way up the dark staircase. I took a deep breath before turning the corner and entering the master bedroom.
And there was Pa.
So small and frail. And so thin. His wrinkled skin was stretched out across his now prominent
cheekbones. “Hello, Pa,” I said with a smile. He couldn’t sit up or talk due to the stroke he had
had. He looked at me and I looked at him. His eyes were cloudy with confusion. He didn’t know
who I was, but I had expected this. His dementia had worsened over the past two years, so I was
used to him not recognising me. Right then and there, I knew that he wasn’t going to be around
much longer.
What struck me the most about my last visit to Ma and Pa before he passed away, was not the
invisible changed mood within the house but rather the visible love Ma showed to Pa. I had
always grown up looking at my grandparents and seeing this great amount of love and respect
between the two of them.
But I felt as if this was the first time, I understood it.
Here was the perfect example of fulfilling the vow ‘till death do us part’. Ma was by his side until the very end. Holding his hand, stroking his tuffs of hair and feeding him. Singing to him, praying with him and reading passages from the Bible to him. Choosing to sleep on a small sleeper couch next to his bed, only ever leaving to bathe and use the toilet. And Pa’s eyes, even in his ailing state,
shone this richness of love when he gazed at Ma. She felt that love up till he closed his eyes for
eternity. And she continues to live her life with the memory of certainty that their love was and
continues to be true.
I have always admired my grandparents. Not only for their warm hugs and great cooking but for
the example they set. Ma and Pa. Neither of them finished school but were extremely wise. Two
materialistically poor but spiritually rich people. Two people who never hesitated to show
kindness to anyone who was in need. Two people, who after 62 years of marriage, lived their
lives as glowing proof that they meant every vow they made at the altar on their wedding day.
To be blessed with grandparents like Ma and Pa is something I will be eternally grateful for. They
taught me how to always value the pursuit of an education. They taught me how to always show
love and kindness to everyone who crosses my path. They taught me how to build on my life
with faith as my firm foundation.
So, to be able to say that I am Ma Kathy and Pa George’s granddaughter is something I will always be proud of.
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